The Jackass That Got Away

I understand that he isn’t a good fit for me. I get that.

But

He used to be my best friend, the person that always knew what I was thinking, the guy that waited 6 months to make a move because we were both scared of ruining our friendship.

We ruined it anyway. I was scared of becoming vulnerable and he didn’t have the patience. (Oh also he cared more about coke than he did me. But I’m not butthurt about it :))

He’s the only legitimate heart break I’ve¬†experienced and the guy that I’ve cried the most and longest over.

He has a girlfriend that he really seems to care about and I am honestly happy for him. All I want is to see him happy even if it’s not with me. I just want to be his best friend again.

I truly love him and I always will, even when we aren’t speaking.

What I love about him is our conversations. They are the funniest things to me. We have a similar humor, it’s like sarcasm plus a good mix of pretentious white kids and awful insults we don’t actually mean. On the flip side serious conversations with him are awesome. He’s the only one that tells me if I’m over reacting, he points out when I’m acting weird and can be incredibly encouraging.

I just miss him and I would give back that one night that made things change just to be his best friend again.

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